Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Dream A Little Dream

D-blog week was amazing, I was doing so good at posting everyday until this weekend...life took center stage and I wasn't able to finish the week off. I have been thinking a lot about the last subject...


Imagine there is a tiny little pill that you could swallow and *poof* type 1 diabetes is cured, no more insulin, no more blood glucose tests...no more diabetes.

What would you do that first day of your life after type 1 diabetes was cured?

This has been incredibly difficult for me to imagine...it is what I want so desperately for my kids, yet I hardly ever sit down and truly think about life after diabetes, I guess I am too busy living life with diabetes. I have been very active in raising money to fund research for a cure, I try to educate my family, friends, strangers and anyone who will listen to me about type 1 diabetes...

But I have never let myself go to that place...

That place where I really feel the emotions connected to my daughters being cured, I want it SO badly...I ache for it...

But I don't imagine it.

I have hope that the day will come, I believe in a cure, I just don't fantasize about that day...but today I will.


~I would cry...sob is more like it.

~I would hug my two girls and hang on for dear life and never let go...they might think I'm crazy but I don't care!

~I would take my girls out for the day and not pack a bag full of diabetes supplies and snacks, then 20 minutes into our outing I would probably have a panic attack because I forgot all of our "stuff"...wait a minute, that's right, we don't need it anymore!

~I would take them out to eat and not worry about carbs...then we would order dessert!

~I would let them stay up late and eat loads and loads of popcorn!

~Then let them sleep in till 10:00 am...or later!!!

~I would go to bed and actually fall asleep without worrying that something terrible may happen to them while I sleep.

~I wouldn't set my alarm clock for 1:00 am or 3:00 am...or at all!!!

~I would stop going into their bedrooms at night to check and make sure they are still breathing.

~I would thank the Lord and all the powers that be for blessing us with this magnificent cure!

~I would sit down and write a letter of thanks and praise for every.single.person who EVER donated to JDRF, walked for a cure or simply spread the word about T1D or said a prayer for my kids.

~I would sleep for 8 hours straight and not wake up once...that is unless someone needs a glass of water or needs to use the bathroom. Let face it, with toddlers sleep is a luxury, diabetes or no diabetes.

Man...as I am sitting here writing all of the things I imagine we would do that first day a cure was found I feel like I could write a thousand things we would do, but when it comes down to it I would just be thankful. Thankful that I don't have to worry about the challenges that my girls faced, thankful that the devastating complications from type 1 would be a thing of the past, thankful that they were healthy again.

It is almost too much to imagine...I do want it so badly for them, it's why we have participated in JDRF's Walk to Cure Diabetes from the beginning and always will until a cure is found.

It's why I try to raise money and awareness, I want a cure, I want my girls to know what life without diabetes is like.

I will always actively pursue a cure and do all that I can as a parent to make it happen, but I will not torture myself with the "if only they were cured". I want them to live the life they have to the fullest, here and now, with diabetes...until that cure is found.


  1. WOW...I cannot even begin to imagine! Wouldn't it be GRAND?! I too had to drop out of blog week. We are moving in less than 2 weeks...so things have gotten a little CRAZY around here. "Catching up" with everyone's blogs this am - you were my first stop! xoxo

  2. I know what you mean. When S was first diagnosed I wouldn't even let myself pray for a cure.I think I was afraid to even dream of that because it makes the reality of this even harder to accept. At this point I have accepted what all of this is and I pray constantly for a cure.

  3. Only 8 hours?? I feel like I could sleep for a month straight without D in the back of my mind. ;)

  4. And you are living your life to the fullest...your girls are loved, you are involved with JDRF and you don't let diabetes get in the way of fun! So not an easy topic to write on! ((HUGS))

  5. Beautiful post...your family sounds so amazing...strong - happy - adjusting...I can't even begin to fathom 2. Let alone 2 little ones dx so close in age!!!!

    You, my friend, are doing a fantastic job. Keep blogging...let the emotions roll...it's an honor to connect with you.

  6. Hi Connie,

    Give us an update! I've missed hearing from you.

    Thanks for your encouragement about Matthew's crazy numbers. It helps to know I'm not the only one who gives their kids a few carbs and they skyrocket!!

    Hope you have a good weekend!