A Quick Rant

I just need to rant a little...just a little!

Last night was TERRIBLE! Miss E had a really rough night with her blood sugar numbers, no matter what I did it was really difficult to keep her under the 200 mark. Almost impossible! When she went to bed she was at a beautiful 154, not bad if I do say so. Around 11:00 pm I decided to check both my girls blood sugars and guess what I saw on Miss E's meter...390!!!

Yeah, I was pretty floored by that number. A quick trip to my kitchen for some insulin and I was back upstairs giving my poor girl a shot which woke her up and she was NOT happy about that. I continued to check her blood sugar and correct every few hours and we had a 318, something in the 200's and by the time she woke up...another number in the 200's!

Sigh...I just hate nights like that. Every time I would get up my husband would wake up, I felt a bit bad about that because he gets up so early for work. I used to have my husband check the girls blood sugars with me at the 3:00 am checks but because of his work schedule I decided it better if I do them on my own...he used to hold the flashlight while I poked their fingers...I have since mastered the art of holding a light and all my d-supplies all by myself in these late night checks!

So I would check on Lil Miss C and her numbers were great last night and they had the exact same things to eat that day and the same level of activity. Sometimes it just doesn't make sense.

So there's my quick rant...I wish we didn't have to deal with nights like this...thank goodness these nights are not a regular thing in our home!!! I always think of what those high numbers are doing to my little girls body. Just makes me wanna cry sometimes!

A Brand New Look!

"Do not be afraid of change, be afraid of not changing"

In my last post "What's in A Name?", I talked about that saying, I'm not sure many of you had a chance to read it because I published it just before blogger had some major technical issues and service was unavailable for quite some time. In that post I talked about how I am trying to use this as my new mantra and never allowing fear to direct my decisions...unless of course the fear is justified and whatever action I am contemplating could cause harm.

I want to push through my fears and do the things that make me happy...trying new things, overcoming obstacles, tackling projects I may have pushed to the side or pursuing things that would push me outside of my comfort zone.

So...when I saw the new templates that blogger just put out I thought, how fitting...I am trying new things in life, how about a new look to my blog!

Hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

What's In A Name?

card I received from my sister-in-law

Hope and Beginnings...I had a hard time trying to pick out a name for this blog, although I will probably talk about diabetes a lot, I know that I will be sharing things with you that have nothing to do with type 1 diabetes. Although, since my girls were diagnosed I believe that my direction in life and my passions have been changed to some degree because of it.

I still have all of the same values in life, but the things that I have always wanted to do, well...I don't think I would have done half of them if it weren't for T1. I know to some of you this may sound slightly ridiculous, so please bear with me.

About 15 years ago I sat down with my best friend and we each wrote a list...50 Things I Want To Do Before I Die...we were young, silly teenagers with big dreams!

Now, here I am fifteen years later and I have only done 5 things off of that list! I realize that many of us have written these kinds of lists and life, love and the everyday stuff just kind of takes over and at times gets in the way of our dreams...it's not that it is a bad life, it's just a different one then the one I had written down so long ago. I definitely never envisioned that I would have type 1 diabetes be a part of that life, now that it is, I really needed to sit down and think about what I want out of this new life...this life that includes syringes, test strips, insulin, low blood sugars and high blood sugars and everything in between.

I am learning a lesson about life these days, one that I would have rather learned on my own without my daughters having to be diagnosed with diabetes, but regardless...I am learning a lesson. For me the lesson is this...life is short, we never know what obstacles we will face and there has never been a better time then the present to just live it to the fullest!!!

So back to my list I wrote 15 years ago, I have since lost it and I am really trying hard to find it again because I would love to share with you what was on it...I think we all would have a good laugh, I know a large portion of it was all of the concerts I wanted to go to...something on many teenage minds I am sure! Another thing that I remember was I wanted to go skydiving...not anymore!!! It's funny how our interests and passions can change over time, I am now working on a new list and it is one that is very different then the one I wrote so long ago. My new list also has a new name...

"My Life List"

I spent many years only taking care of my family and putting my needs on the back burner, taking care of my kids is always my number one priority but I realize that my needs and my dreams are just as important and will probably make me a better mother, wife, friend etc. if I am doing the things that fill me up and spark creativity, joy and fulfillment in my life. When I realized that my daughters were going to have to live with diabetes for the rest of their life, I decided that I needed to be a better role model for them as to how they live that life. I wanted to be the person that shows my girls that no matter what life gives us, we can enjoy it and live it with great joy and fulfillment. I know that they will face a lot more obstacles then I could ever imagine and I don't want my girls to wait too long to do what makes them happy and I don't want them to ever feel like diabetes is going to get in the way of living it up to the fullest. I want them to live, love and do the things in life that give them great joy...and so do I.

So...HOPE...

• I am hopeful that a cure for diabetes will be found.
• I am hopeful that my blog will have a positive impact on other families faced with a type 1 diabetes diagnosis.
• I am hopeful that my blog will have a positive impact on ANYONE who stops by and takes the time to read .
• I am hopeful that my girls will live a long, healthy, happy life filled with all of their dreams realized.
• I am hopeful that in some way I may inspire others to do their part in making our world a better place, whether that is by encouraging people to volunteer, share their story or make a difference in any way.
• I am hopeful that this blog will inspire me
• I am hopeful...

And...BEGINNINGS...

• Beginning to live a fuller life.
• Beginning to try new things...what's the worst that could happen...I fail (SO WHAT)! I try something else.
• Beginning to connect with other families who are living with type 1 diabetes.
• Beginning to face my fears, it's kind of my new mantra...

"Do not be afraid of change, be afraid of not changing."

My sister-in-law sent me a card with that saying on the front if it, this was over three years ago and I still have it on my fridge, it inspires me daily. After T1 entered our lives it had an even greater impact on me and on how I lived my life.

• Beginning to live in the moment...don't let those beautiful little moments go by unrecognized.
• Beginning to open myself up to the possibility...of what I'm not sure...just waiting to find out.

So that is what's in a name, I'm sure that it will continue to grow with me, but for now I think that kind of sums it up.

Hope and Beginnings...I hope you will join me for the journey!